The Dress
by Aussie Panda
Summary: Okay, so maybe he shouldn't have said anything about the dress. Like his mother said, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Rated Teen for language and sexual references. Puckleberry and a slew of others.


He was not hiding. Sure, Chang, Hudson, and hell, even Evans, went off on him about how "He needed t talk to her" and "She had been sitting in her room crying for hours." He knew they were wrong. Why the fuck would Rachel Berry be crying over this?

No, this was a trick. A sadistic Rachel trick. She was making them think that she was miserable when really, she was just completely pissed and waiting by the door with a pan to knock him over the head with when he walked in the door. The truth is, she is a really good actress.

"Dude, she's really upset. I went over and asked if you were around, you know to play X box, and she tots flipped her lid." His tall gangly friend said.

"Did you just say, and I quote, 'tots'?" Puck asked Finn, with a look of astonishment, and a little bit of disgust, etched across his face.

"Yeah, isn't it sweet? See, I've been tutoring Britt in that class she's been taking at the college and in exchange, she's been teaching me how to be cool." Finn replied. _Oh god, he looks so excited about this._

"Finn, do me and yourself a favor, and don't tell anyone else about your agreement with Brittany, okay? Hey, Satan knows about that right? 'Cause I don't want her ruining Berry and I's makeup sex when she comes over crying over Brittany to Rachel."

Finn didn't reply. He simply looked over Puck's shoulder, across the bar in shock and fear. I turned my head. There stood my smoking hot girlfriend standing next to Satan who looked subpar compared to Rachel.

Mike finally spoke, "You are both alone, and screwed." Slowly, Mike made his way over to his girlfriend, Tina. Sam nodded and joined him, and stood next to Quinn, his girlfriend.

Rachel came up right next to me and asked the bartender for water (_What did she order a water for?_). She managed to push up her boobs in a way that was clearly meant for flirting. But, she wasn't flirting with me; no she was flirting with the bartender, who was more the happy to get some action.

She rubbed against me as she glided back to Santana and the dance floor. That's when I noticed the dress. She was wearing THE dress. The dress that caused this entire fight. She looked damn good in it too.

His eyes stayed on her as a guy came up behind her and started to dance with her. She complied and grinded against him in a completely inappropriate way that her Dad's would definitely be hearing about.

He got the point. He came up to Rachel and pushed the guy away. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Satan giving Finn a threat probably worse than death that caused Finn to go paler, and as he saw, almost pee himself.

"Hey baby." I said as I reached my favorite lady.

"So, you finally came to your senses?" Rachel asked me, smirking all the way.

"I have. The dress looks hot on you, mostly because it's _you_ wearing it. I'm sorry." I said, while managing to sway with her. "Thanks for the push."

"Mmmm, I thought you deserved it. Plus, I got really bored and Santana wouldn't shut up about Finn and Brittany. I had to make an excuse quickly. I knew Finn would be here and I might have missed you a tiny bit." Rachel said.

"Yeah, speaking of Finn, did you possibly make him think that I had broken your heart or something? I thought he was going to repost me for beating you up or some shit like that. 'Plus, I know you were just pissed. Fucking pissed, but only that." I said.

Still dancing, Rachel laughed, almost hysterically. "You should know Noah; never tell a girl she looks bad when she asks how she looks."

"Yeah. You do look SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot in that dress. I guess it wasn't ugly after all. Hey, we should, you know, get back to the apartment." It was time for makeup sex and he was so ready.

"Oh yes Noah, I know. I certainly do. Have you been spenign a lot of time with Blaine?" I grinned as she pulled me put of the bar. I was "tots" getting some tonight.

_Maybe telling her the dress made her look a bit bigger than usual wasn't such a bad idea._

"Oh and Noah, there is a reason I look a bit bigger, and it's not because of the dress."

_Wait, what?_

A/N: I hoped you enjoyed. I noticed that we Puckleberry fans have almost written 100 pages for Puckleberry fanfiction on and I though I would make a contribution towards almost making it there. Please give me some feedback. This is a ONESHOT by the way. Sorry. I just want to make sure people know. Thanks and Happy reading and writing.


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